Hotels

There is a real range of luxury hotels in the world  — from the down to earth comfort of “Forbes top hotel”  San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara, California, to the old school European grandeur of the Four Seasons George V hotel in Paris.

Behold the Mardan Palace

And then you have flat out crazy, fake snow-making flash of the new Mardan Palace in… Turkey! I bet you thought I was going to say Dubai, the current champion of hotel excess. But this new property, owned by Russian billionaire Telman Ismailov, who spent more than £1billion to create his dream hotel, takes vulgar to a new level.

Showbiz reporter Ashley Pearson managed to get herself an invitation to the “grand” opening of the hotel and wrote up her visit for the Mail Online, which is always a good source for a little celebrity leering. In fact, celebrity attendees at the event included:

• Sharon Stone (sounds as crazy as ever, “I consider leopard-print a neutral”)
• Richard Gere (who was just there to get money for his foundation)
• Seal (mispronounced Ismailov’s name)
• Mariah Carey (she was the big name performer, reportedly for £1million!)
• Tom Jones (he opened for Mariah)
• Paris Hilton (towing her dummie boyfriend Doug Reinhardt)
• Monica Bellucci (gorgeous and can’t speak English)

This just a regular suite

Suites at the Mardan Palace can go for as much as £11,500 a night. The rooms are just as exquisite as you would expect for $20k+ — no bedbugs or jungle spiders here!

This is a deluxe suite

There is the fake snow room, for rolling in after a sauna (Ashley Pearson’s detail, not mine), there is a five acre pool, and you can swim in a man-made coral reef and shark grotto. You know, when you want to live large and dangerous, like rich people.

The grotto. With the fish. And sharks.

Is this kind of hotel relevant or necessary these days? No. Is it even ethical to spend a couple billion dollars to make another over the top hotel when there are people starving? Probably not. And can Ismailov justify the carbon footprint that this kind of operation generates? I doubt it.

But even with those three strikes, this place will probably become a big success, because there are still people out there with so much money, they almost can’t help themselves from staying in a place like this. And I have to admit, I sort of shame-envy them. What can I say? That pool looks really nice.

Twenty Dollar Trick

Have you heard of the Twenty Dollar Trick? It’s a great way to get a free (ok, almost free) upgrade to your hotel in cities like Las Vegas, New York and Boston. My fiance and I used it in Las Vegas, Nevada, this past weekend at Harrah’s and it worked wonderfully! Basically, this is how it works. When you check in, you slip a $20 bill between your credit card and ID, hand them to the receptionist and immediately ask, “Are there any free upgrades available?” If there are, chances are they’ll give you one. And if not, they give the $20 back. We tried this over Memorial Day weekend, and it worked like a charm! We had booked a standard room, and we were immediately upgraded to a Junior Suite that came with a King Bed, a large couch, a printer (really!) and a view of the pool. The room was in the newer tower, so it was nice and large.

I’ve heard that this tactic works in bigger cities like New York as well, so give it a try the next time you check in to a hotel and see what happens! Let good old Jackson do a little work for you. I wonder what would have happened if we had slipped the guy $40…

Harrah's Las Vegas

Photo Credits: StopnLook, ILoveButter

Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, Nevada

About one year ago, rooms at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, Nevada were pretty darn expensive. My Internet searches kept turning up prices in the $220-$400/night range. Now, though, with the economy in the gutter, room prices have been seriously slashed. I just stayed there with my fiance this Memorial Day weekend for under $200/night, and that was for a holiday weekend! I’m seeing prices now for as low as $89/night with special promotions, and it looks like the average prices are about $150/night.

Grab up these prices while they last! This hotel offers a LOT for your money. There’s an amazing 11-acre beach and wave pool (so cool), at least two other pools to choose from, fabulous restaurants, big, comfortable rooms and first-class service. All we had to do to get two extra keys for friends to get into the wave pool was ask, no questions.

We stayed in a jacuzzi suite on the 17th floor, which was completely awesome. The ONLY thing wrong with this setup was the elevators. I kid you not, we waited 30 minutes for an elevator to get down during checkout time! This is apparently not a problem in the lower floors, but the suite floors have major waiting times for the elevators.

This is my one and only complaint about Mandalay Bay, though. It’s still one of the nicest hotels in Las Vegas, and for right now, it’s an incredible value as well.

And don’t forget that it puts you only ten minutes away from the airport!

Mandalay Bay wave pool in Las Vegas

Photo Credits: Heather0714,

kckellner

If you love Myleene, check out her website!

Okay, you know how “fancy” is a relative term for hotels, depending on where you are? Reality TV show “star” (also a relative term) Myleene Klass found this out the hard way in Costa Rica.

She’s hosting the new US season of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here which puts “celebrities” (OMG, it’s a third relative term!) in Survivor-ish situations and lets us watch them live up, or down, to our expectations.

Myleene was on the UK version of the show a couple of seasons ago, but this hosting gig was supposed to be luxurious and easy. Since she’s not a participant she probably expected she would be safe from jungle crawlies. But no.

On her first night in the hotel — which The Sun didn’t name, darn it — she woke up at 3 a.m. to find her bed, and herself, covered in spiders, giant ants, and other bugs.

Of course she freaked out, and got moved to another room. I don’t think I would have slept a wink in that building, but she didn’t have much choice if she wants to earn the £100,000 for hosting the show.

I’m really struggling with this one: which is worse? Waking up with spiders all over you? Or finding out your hotel has bed bugs? Or paying “luxury” rates and having either kind of bugs?

A dream wedding on the beach at the Ritz

Do you dream of a beach wedding in the Caribbean or Mexico, but push away the idea because you think you can’t afford it?

Well keep dreaming, because maybe you can … if you have it at one of these five hotels: The Ritz-Carlton, Cancun; The Ritz-Carlton, Grand Cayman; The Ritz-Carlton Golf & Spa Resort, Rose Hall, Jamaica; The Ritz-Carlton, St. Thomas; and The Ritz-Carlton, San Juan Hotel, Spa & Casino!

This could be your magic event!

Seriously, there’s no catch. If you meet the requirements, the Ritz-Carlton will give you a complimentary wedding ceremony that includes:

• Ceremony Location
• Wedding Specialist
• Wedding Concierge
• Minister
• Signature Bouquet
• Signature Boutonniere
• Signature Location Décor
• Complimentary three-night first anniversary stay

So what are the requirements? Book your wedding by December 20, 2009, and have it between May 1 and December 20, 2009.  Just make sure to invite at least 25 couples, because you also need to book 25 rooms, for at least three night. The destination wedding details are all spelled out on the Ritz Carlton site, but it really is that simple.

If any day in your life deserves the kind of white glove treatment you get at the Ritz, it’s your wedding, right? And if you’re going to drag your guests halfway around the world to watch you and your beloved exchange vows, it better be somewhere gorgeous.

The Ritz-Carlton Cancun

I would be happy to go to an event at the Ritz-Carlton Cancun, and yes that’s a hint to my brother who just got engaged. The rooms are gorgeous, with the to-be-expected 400 thread-count sheets and flat screen tv, plus rainforest showerheads and gourmet espresso machines in every room. Then there is the location! Perched on the edge of the Caribbean, the white sandy beaches and azure waters are breath-taking. Not to mention, you’re on the Mayan Riviera, where you can see pyramids, snorkel and drink endless margarita-on-the-beach drinking.

In fact, maybe my husband and I need to renew our vows — who wants to come to a wedding?

Photos courtesy of Ritz-Carlton

Looking for a hip, chic botique hotel with bedspreads in primary colors? Well, you’ve found your place. The Time Hotel is a very short walk from Times Square, and my stay there this past weekend was great. Comfy beds, close to everything, very helpful staff and Internet that (usually) worked. You have to pay for the Internet, though (yes, I’m whining) – I think it was $10.30 per day.

If you’re a fan of primary colors, you’ll love the rooms. My bed was a very vibrant yellow, which woke me up in the mornings more than the sun streaming through the windows. The other rooms I saw were decked out in blues and reds. Tastefully though.

There’s a good restaurant downstairs called Serafina, though I didn’t try it. I couldn’t stand to eat in the hotel when New York City has so many amazing eats just outsisde of the hotel doors. Serafina gets good reviews though. There’s a hotel bar, too, but again, why pay $12 for drinks when you can walk down the street and pay $10? Just kidding. There are plenty of pubs in the area where you can score a $3 pint.

Rooms are about $220 to almost $500 per night depending on how snazzy you want your room to be. Rooms are on the smaller side, but are comfortable and well laid out.

The Fairmont Hotel - San Francisco, CA

My folks are in town for a week and they got a great deal on a stay at the historic Fairmont Hotel at the top of Nob Hill in San Francisco. The thing about those deals is that they’re usually for tiny rooms with no view. Lucky thing my awesome cousin Andrea works for the Fairmont in Boston. She helped them get an upgrade to a Tower Room, which can be summed up in four words: Bathroom With a View.

Look at the size of that window!

Seriously, the best thing about a fancy hotel is having a bathroom the size of a condo. The Fairmont does not disappoint, with a big tub, separate shower and capacious “toilet area” — and marble for miles and miles!

And then there is the giant picture window, looking down California Street, down Nob Hill, with the Bay Bridge in the background. Stunning. You just want to stand there, looking out the window.

Eventually you do have to sleep — that is the point of a hotel room. And when my folks crawled into bed, they slept soundly on Frette linen ensembles on the pillow top beds. It’s a luxury hotel, pretty much exactly what you’d expect.

Morning brew and pastry at Caffe Cento

The big surprise hit for them, and for my aunt and uncle who stayed across the street at the Mark Hopkins, was the tiny Caffe Cento, on the ground floor of Powell Street. Coffee, tea, croissants, and perfectly foamed milk. Every morning got off to a great start.

Other things to know about staying at the San Francisco Fairmont:

If you join The President’s club, they waive the gym fee and you don’t have to pay for wifi. Did I mention it’s free to join? No brainer.

You gotta visit The Tonga Room & Hurricane Bar. Booze, music, delicious Pacific Rim island cuisine and a rain storm. Yeah, it rains in the middle of the bar. Also, the happy hour buffet special — all you can eat for $9.50 — on Thursday and Friday nights is off the hook. Just plan on it.

Million dollar views from the penthouse suite - literally!

And sometimes, when I’m dreaming big, I plan to stay in the Penthouse Suite, which has space to entertain 100 people with:

• 4 bathrooms
• fireplace
• library
• dining room
• billiard room
• a to die for balcony

The Ace Hotel is a kind of a chain, with cool properties in Portland, Seattle, New York and Palm Springs.

In Palm Springs, California, it’s the Ace Hotel and Swim Club, and built on the site of a Howard Johnson’s hotel from 1965. If you love a private patio, a saline pool, massage, yurts, and the whole indoor/outdoor aesthetic of Palm Springs, you’ll like the Ace Hotel.

Ace Hotel, Palm Springs, King Room

Did I mention the booze snow cone? Talk about cool…

When you get hungry, but are too lazy (or drunk) to go all the way out for food, there is an onsite diner called “King’s Highway Restaurant.” It’s seasonal and organic, but also cool and retro.  The Amigo Bar has all the cocktails you need to do your 50’s movie star bit, plus cheap bear and all the trendy infused vodka you can drink.

Ace Hotel, Palm Springs, Private Patio

They offer several packages, including the “Easy Rider” (massage, what were you thinking?), the “Ranch Hand” which gets you horse back riding, and a delightful 50% discount on a second room, plus toys, for the “Whole Family.”

Ace Hotel, Palm Springs, Suite with cool furniture

Here’s the crazy thing: you’d think a place this cool would be insanely expensive and always booked up. But no! You can get incredible deals, even for holiday weekends like the 4th of July, for the $100 neighborhood!

All I can say is, where’s my bathing suit? Because I am dying to go hang out by the Ace Hotel pool with a booze snow cone and listen to some vinyl records!

As much as I love to hear about — and stay at — boutique hotels that have robust green programs, real change in the industry is driven by the giants, like Hyatt Hotels. For this reason, it’s thrilling to hear that they’ve made serious corporate-level commitment to green practices, even encouraging their employees to take their eco-learnings home and use them there!

Hyatt Hotels has several goals for their proprietary worldwide training program, starting with helping employees understand and reduce their environmental impact. They’ll be working on four key areas, which match up to the company’s bigger environmental program:

• minimize carbon emissions and other harmful pollutants
• waste
• energy consumption
• water consumption

Hyatt is looking at this program as a shift (an improvement? I sure think so) to their company culture. They started training on Earth Day, which has a nice symbol ring to it, and they’re doing the training at every full-service hotel. It’s pretty impressive that they’re putting that much money into the program!

There are several Hyatts in San Francisco, and I’m a big fan of all of them.

The Hyatt at Fisherman’s Wharf is a great location for folks who love a touristy, vacation feel. There are tons of restaurants around, loud attractions for the kids, and several places to buy a San Francisco “How the heck can it be so cold in July” Memorial Sweatshirt.

You're in the thick of SF Touristville

The rooms at the Fisherman’s Wharf Hyatt are spacious and modern, and I can personally attest to the excellent room service, which on one occasion involved a delightful afternoon of french fries and white wine. Good times!

Modern and pretty rooms!

The Grand Hyatt San Francisco in Union Square has one of my favorite bars in the city. Located on the 20-somethingth floor, guests are treated to views of the city while listening to a live piano performance and nibbling on the yummie bar menu.

The best hotel bar in SF

You get those same amazing views from the rooms, which are relatively luxe — it’s definitely a business class hotel, to be paid for by corporate expense accounts.

The views! The views!

Speaking of views, it’s hard to beat the ones you get from the rooms at the third Hyatt in San Francisco, the Hyatt Regency at the Embarcadero. The Ferry Building, the Bay Bridge, and the city skyline all take your breath away.

Room at the Embarcadero Hyatt

Inside you have the customary classy Hyatt rooms, plus the incredible open atrium lobby. Mel Brooks fans will recognize the elevators from his classic film High Anxiety.

See the signature mosaic-style floor?!

It’s great to hear that the already pretty terrific Hyatt has joined the green revolution. As long as they keep french fries on the room service menu, and sliders at the bar, it sounds like they are better than ever.

These are hard times. You know what feels better than picking at your teeth with a squirrel bone and watching the fire die down on a windless spring evening? Anything. But especially hotel deals for less than $100 per night.

Our favorites from DealBase this week:

The Mirage

Las Vegas

In the city of deals, Mirage Hotel & Casino offers one of the best: a summer offer package, which for $85 a night provides a room, $40 dining credit, and four passes to Siegfried and Roy’s show and something with dolphins that I’d never attend because dolphins scare me. But hey: dining credit!

Hotel Triton's Spacey Sign

San Francisco

In a shocking twist, Hotel Triton gets you drunk and then doesn’t steal your wallet. Their Playcation package includes a dirt-cheap room and a free bottle of wine. Steal some cheese from an unmonitored buffet, hole up in your room and pretend your a French transit worker on strike…from life.

Orlando Vista Hotel

Florida

And finally, if the rug rats are nipping at your toes for one of them fancified Disney vacations but you need some alone time with the spouse, consider hauling some grandparents along to babysit the kids. Hey, worked for the Obamas. With their Grandparents Stay Free package, the Orlando Vista Hotel gives you the next-door room free as well as free dinner for two adults and one kid at something called the Pirates Adventure Dinner.

Sounds like a fun spot for Granny and Grampy to bond with your kid while you gaze at your spouse over a candle stuck in a Chianti bottle at an establishment far from teenaged actors in plastic eye patches. Hello, lover.

Hotel Triton photo by Tom Hilton on Flickr Creative Commons