A room at the beautiful San Ysidro Ranch - payment required!

Okay, maybe they aren’t really making a reality show — yet — but you know someone, somewhere is saying, “We can feature a new hotel every week. And that crazy survivalist beard on Randy will be ratings catnip!”

In case you haven’t heard, Randy and his wife Evi were arrested in Marfa, Texas, for allegedly stiffing Forbes Top Hotel pick, the St. Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara, to the tune of $10k.

That’s a lot of cashews, even at a fancy luxury place!

Naturally the Quaids denied everything, while ponying up $20k each to get out of jail.

It’s hard to know who or what to believe. Since Randy was able to hitch a ride to the bank and post bail immediately, he was probably also able to pay the hotel tab. On the other hand, stories about Randy and Evi being among the worst hotel guests (plus a bit of alleged drug use) are plentiful on the internets.

The Quaids claim their current legal troubles are  a publicity stunt by the St. Ysidro, which doesn’t make much sense — if you get a Forbes endorsement, you don’t really need the Lesser Quaid Seal of Grift and Approval. To “prove” their innocence, they’re shopping around a copy of a cashier’s check made out to the hotel, which then begs the question, why do they have a copy of the check?

It’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma of a terrifying billy goat beard. And potentially the best new reality show in development.

Photo credit: San Ysidro Ranch