Sexy stars for Hollywood board shorts!

So you know when you wander down to the hotel pool, and you’re about to take off your robe? Then you look around and suddenly realize that everyone else is wearing a bathing suit but you’re naked.

Yeah, I hate that, too.

That’s why from now I’m going to do all my accidental-near-skinny-dipping at the Standard Hotels in LA, New York or Miami.

The André Balazs properties are partnering with boardshort designer Quicksilver to offer cobranded suit in the hotel lobby shops, and in vending machines by the pool.

Oooh, anyone got change for a c-note, right?

Starting with the LA property this weekend, you can get four different styles of men’s shorts to match the four different Standard Hotel locations. Women can only get a black string bikini, but if you only have one choice, that’s the choice 98% of women who are actually willing to wear a bathing suit in public.

Want all of the cachet of a Standard Hotel bathing suit, without the trip to an expensive hot spot? Check it out on the Standard web store.

Photo: The Standard Hotel

The gorgeous Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, CA

Last week Addison Schonland of the IAG travel and aviation consultancy interviewed me for my very first podcast.

If you’re curious to hear my insider recommendations for a fun-filled trip to San Francisco, CA, check out the podcast here.

We cover sights, food, going up to Marin and Healdsburg, driving down Rt. 1 to Monterey, hotels — of course! — and the many places to drink wine.

The stuff about San Francisco’s legendary naked people is near the end. Oh, and we sort of make fun of PETA, just a little at the beginning, in the context of needing a fur coat in when you visit here in June.

All the truth, all the time!

Other awesome podcasts in the series include:

• Whit Honea, UpTake Vacations blog editor, giving advice on traveling with kids
• Jennifer Miner from the UpTake Restaurants blog, and a Traveling Mama, on a budget summer trip to Sedona, AZ

A funny story over at TravelPost.com about Germany’s first all nude hotel got me thinking — we must have a bunch of naked hotels right here in the U.S. of A. It just seems so … American … in a weird reality-show loving kind of way. And of course I was right. The clothing-optional crowd has all sorts of choices when it comes to spending their vacation dollars.

There are some common denominators for nudist resorts:

• the pool is where you find the action
• campgrounds are surprisingly common
• people really do come in all shapes and sizes, many of them startling

If you’re a practiced nudist, or just what I like to call “sunburn-curious”, here are a few spots to consider for your summer vacation.

Cypress Cove Nudist Resort and Spa

If your attitude is, “Hey, I should get a massage, since I’m already naked!” you’ll enjoy the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort and Spa in Kissamee, Florida.

An RV and a picnic table = bliss

Guests have a choice of staying at “villa” hotel rooms and apartments, or going for a more rustic visit to the campground and RV park.

A second honeymoon in the sun!

This is a couples and family type of place, and it’s located just 30 minutes away from Disney, Sea World and other vacation attractions.

Gotta get in the cardio!

On-site amenities include spa services, a gym, pool, and plenty of bars and restaurants for relaxing!

The Desert Sun Resort

A special occasion with extra sunshine!

If you want some luxury with your nudity, this Palms Springs, California, clothing-optional spot — formerly called the Desert Shadows Resort — will push all the right buttons for you. For a relaxing vacation or special event, this property has everything you could need!

Work on those tan lines!

This deluxe Mediterranean style resort offers naked volleyball in one pool,  another pool for quiet reading and relaxing, and a salt-water pool for fancy spa time. That’s three pools in the middle of the desert!

Who's keeping score?

They also have two heated Whirlpool spas, tennis courts with lights for night time games, a basketball hoop and several BBQ pits, although hot coals sound a bit risky with all of your stuff exposed like that!

Forest Hills Family Nudist Club and Campground

Everyone in the pool!

If you’re a nice family, looking for other nice families who enjoy camping in the nude in the Michigan area, Forest Hills is the clothing optional campground for you. They believe in the benefits of social nudity, and ask that you put a towel on that chair before you sit down.

Most folks travel there and stay in an RV, but they also have a couple of cabins if you’d like “slightly more civilized accommodations.” While at the campground, you can enjoy water sports, with a big pool and a hot tub you can use any time, a club house, and snack at the Honey Buns Cafe.

The real common denominator at all of these places is a sense of acceptance, mixed in with a little bit of adventurousness. Which is also a pretty good a description of the best aspects of America. God bless American nudist vacations!